30th Post and Changes

I know that I am not always the best at posting on my blog but when I do it does great things for me. I am generally a person who wears her heart on her sleeve but amazingly there is still a lot that I keep to myself so this blog serves as my voice when I need a little sanity. It also keeps me true to myself. A lot of times I will want to post something and decide against it because I am unaware of who actually reads my blog and honestly there are just some people that I wouldn't want to read it....but today that changes. I need to start being who I am and start voicing what is in my heart because at the end of the day I am who I am and I am proud of that.

Well yesterday was a good day for me. I had a jam packed schedule which I hate on a weekend but it was full of fun. I went with Jaime to a Pampered Chef show. She was the consultant and I was there to help her. You could say I donated my time because I owe her alot. She puts me in my place and refuses any negativity from me and she forces me to believe in myself despite what others might think. Jaime has faith in me that is unwaivering and you cannot imagine how much I need that right now. This has been a dark period in my life for many reasons that I will not get into but you must know that it goes much deeper than just our "fertility" issues and she takes such good care of making sure that "my mind is right so my @ss can follow". For that Jaime thank you. You gave me a lot to think about last night and starting today I am going to try to change my thoughts and control my destiny and know that I can make all of my dreams come true.

So I thought on Sundays in honor of my new personal freedom I am going to start a thing on Sundays called, "Say IT Sundays". This will be sort of day where I look back and get anything of my chest that I have been personally dealing with.

So today I have to say that I am promising myself to wipe away those negative thoughts and start thinking positively for my future. If I can't believe in myself who will???

I am also publicly declaring that I will begin my new workout regime even when it is hot and I am just too tired (I posted this so that way I can look back and read that I publicly declared I will start working out) a girl needs encouragement every now and then.

Finally, I have people in my life that can sometimes drive me to drink but I will now only allow myself to believe that they love me and only want what is best for me. I will also come to terms with knowing they are who they are and even though I may not like it I have to respect them and move on and give them less time in my thoughts.

So a few posts ago I asked for your help in finding my newest challenge. I went to school and graduated, I finished a marathon and all of the trainig it took to complete the marathon which was hands down the hardest thing I have ever ever done.
Well I believe I have found my hardest challenge and that is working on myself and turning my negative thoughts into positive ones that will help me acheive my dreams. I am going to learn to be my biggest fan and not my greatest enemy.

So I leave you with this.... It is lyrics to a song that challenges me every time I hear it to be happy with what you have and not what you dont.
Artist: Rucker Darius
Song: Alright

Alright, Alright
Yeah it's alright, alright

Don't need no five star reservations
I've got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine
Don't need no concert in the city
I've got a stereo and the best of Patsy Cline
Ain't got no caviar no Dom Perignon
But as far as I can see, I've got everything I want

Cause I've got a roof over my head,
the man I love laying in my bed
And it's alright, alright
I've got shoes under my feet
Forever in his eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright
And I've got all I need
And it's alright by me

Maybe later on we'll walk down to the river
Lay on a blanket and stare up at the moon
It may not be no French Riviera
But it's all the same to me as long as I've got you

It may be a simple life, but that's okay
If you ask me baby, I think I've got it made

Cause I've got a roof over my head,
the man I love laying in my bed
And it's alright, alright
I've got shoes under my feet
Forever in his eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright
And I've got all I need
And it's alright by me

It's alright by me, yeah yeah
When I lay down at night I thank the Lord above
For giving me everything I ever could dream of

Cause I've got a roof over my head,
the man I love laying in my bed
And it's alright, alright, alright, alright
I've got shoes under my feet
Forever in his eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright, alright
And I've got all I need, yeah
I've got all I need
And it's alright by me
Oh yeah, it's alright by me